Murphy's Law

10 Generations of real life problems.

This was supposed to be a legacy but it's turned into a story...

Anyway, this story is inspired by favorite books, movies, television shows and personal experiences.

Life is not a fairy tale but that doesn't mean it's not beautiful. After all, you love people in spite of their flaws, and sometimes their flaws make you love them even more.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Chapter 1.14 The Day We Met

Paul had the sound-proof recording studio built in three months' time.

Marilyn was able to graduate from soap operas to prime-time television.  She had had modest success with a couple of theme songs she had written and had even won some awards.  The older women who made up the majority of daytime television viewers had apparently loved the romantic wistfulness that she so eloquently captured in sweeping crescendos and dramatic interludes.  Her latest composition, "Starlight" was featured on the hit teen drama, "Inside".  Thanks to the high tech studio, she had plenty of resources to start working on her master project - an entire music score.  She knew that summers yielded a lot of blockbuster films and she wanted to have a wide variety of material already available.

Nate loved practicing his guitar in complete privacy.  He had finished his demo, recorded the rest of the songs to his debut album ("Green Couches and Marshmallows") and was already starting to work on an EP.  Being called "The Next Bon Iver" didn't hurt his popularity either.  He had been signed onto the biggest indie label in the business, Monster Records.  His days were PR heavy and jam-packed with appearances since his single had made the top 40.  Every radio station in town was playing "I'm So Twitterpated".  Marks had told him to be prepared for a hectic tour schedule to promote the album.

Of course, Nate wouldn't begin touring until after the baby was born.

Oh, yes.  It had taken a couple of months but Marilyn had finally gotten pregnant.

*     *     *     *     *     *     *

When I found out that I was pregnant, I cried.  I had been working so much lately, I never noticed the signs.  Nate always seemed to be gone.  Marks had my husband running all over the place.  And we were both so exhausted.  We should have been more excited but we had been trying for a couple of months and I had come to the conclusion that I wasn't able to conceive.

Honestly, we weren't very prepared to become parents.  Nate postponed his tour until after the baby's birth but he still had a lot of promotional work to do.  Postponing the tour meant he would have to work hard at keeping the public's interest - keep himself out there.  So that left me and the little blob that would become our baby.

With Nate gone, I struggled to keep myself entertained.  My boss didn't have any projects for me and honestly, with back pain and morning sickness, I didn't feel like composing much anyway.  I was terrified of my blob's impending birth.  What if I dropped it on its head?  What if it suffocated in its sleep?  What if it was born deformed?  I could ask these kind of questions for the rest of my life and never run out of worry.

So I worked out...

played with Lady...


treated myself to massages...

and although it didn't happen immediately, grew to love my little blob, which the ultrasound identified as a male.

Sitting in his decorated nursery with fresh wallpaper on the walls and clean linens on his crib, for the first time, I started identifying this...blob with my son.  Nate and I's son.  Soon enough, we would be bringing a little us into this world, who would live in this room and grow up into a real person.

And suddenly, I wondered why I had ever questioned whether or not I would have children.

*     *     *     *     *     *     *

I was having an techno party one afternoon (yes, apparently nine-month preggos can shake their groove thing even in ugly maternity wear) when it happened.  My blob was making a quick exodus and I was damned if it was happening on my dance floor!

Nate had just enough time to cancel his appointments for the day and we high-tailed it to the hospital to meet our unborn child.

After a surprisingly quick birth, Gabriel Alexander Bergdorf was born.  I know that all babies generally look the same until they're about three, but to me, he was the most beautiful little boy I had ever seen.  They say a woman becomes a mother while she's pregnant but a man doesn't become a father until he sees his child?  At least for me, I didn't view my belly as anything but a huge round gut.  I still can't believe he was in there that entire time!

I gingerly loaded him into his little blue stroller and started wheeling him towards our taxi, with Nate following behind.  He slept the entire ride.

Then when we got home, we tucked him into his crib with his teddy.  Gabe never stirred once.  I kept waiting for a meteor to hit, lightning to strike or even something as simple as to wake up and realize it had all been a dream but nothing happened.  I was now a Mommy and I couldn't be selfish anymore because this tiny little blob depended on me.

And honestly?  I still checked him a million times that night to make sure he was still breathing and still dreaded the day when he might grow up to resent me.  I was still worried about everything under the sun and still scared that I might do something wrong.

So I guess I'm a natural.

1 comment:

  1. Welcome baby Gabe.
    I keep forgetting to mention what a cutie Lady is.