Murphy's Law

10 Generations of real life problems.

This was supposed to be a legacy but it's turned into a story...

Anyway, this story is inspired by favorite books, movies, television shows and personal experiences.

Life is not a fairy tale but that doesn't mean it's not beautiful. After all, you love people in spite of their flaws, and sometimes their flaws make you love them even more.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Chapter 3.4 How Do You Want It

"You know the great thing, though, is that change can be so constant you don't even feel the difference until there is one. It can be so slow that you don't even notice that your life is better or worse, until it is. Or it can just blow you away, make you something different in an instant."

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When my grandmother asked me if I would like to go back to the group the following week, I surprised even myself by saying that I would.  Aside from the culture shock, it's not like there had been any Earth-shattering revelations that had been made, but it was like I was noticing the world around me for the first time.  There were all sorts of people that I had never met before even in my small town and they all had different stories, different heartaches and maybe they were more like me than I thought.

Andrew and I had finally made up after a not so insightful coffee date at Han's Tavern.  All of our friends knew that it would happen eventually.  After all, he was the Golden Boy and I was his number one girl.  It seemed like all of my life I played a role.  As a child, when my parents' relationship was crumbling, I had to be the obedient daughter and pretend that all was okay, even when everything around me was falling apart.  As a teenager, I was compelled to be the dutiful granddaughter and make sure my grandmother was taken care of even as I wanted to leave home more than anything.  And with Andrew, I felt an obligation to stay with him as his girlfriend, to take my place beside him as the reigning couple at Par Excellence.

Still, even as I felt myself changing, just a little bit, I had yet to make the same sort of impression on the other girls.  They saw me as a rich snob and they weren't wrong.  I had never noticed that Joelle and Melissa even went to the same high school.  I had never seen them before.  And how would I, when I was so wrapped up in my group of friends?


It wasn't my fault that the family that I had been born into was wealthy, any more than it was their fault that their families were poor.  They made fun of the way I talked, how I sat and even the clothes that I wore.  I made up my mind that we would exist in harmony.  Somehow.  The three of us might not be best friends forever, but I hoped that they would at least quit antagonizing me.

Senior year was going fast and Homecoming was already upon us.  Andrew and I had both been nominated for Court.  He had decided that if we didn't take the crowns this time, we'd definitely get it for Prom.  Of course, I was still waiting for him to ask me but I knew that when he did, it would be something romantic.  He was a good boyfriend and our relationship was of the stuff fairytales are made of.

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I had been going to group session for three weeks when I finally got a breakthrough with Melissa.  It was a week exactly before Homecoming and Andrew still had yet to ask me.  


She had been standing behind me for a minute and I was too preoccupied with daydreams about sparkling tiaras and T-strap Mary Janes to notice her.


I had let them heckle me in the hallways.  I had kept my mouth shut at meetings.  I had even come to terms with the fact that they would never accept me.  But I was tired of being made to feel bad for the person I was.  Not thinking about expulsion or even worse, getting removed from Homecoming Court, I did the most ladylike thing I could think of.  

I tackled the bitch.


True, I had no older brother to wrestle with growing up and I had never watched a fight, much less been in one.  But all of my pent-up frustration unleashed an anger that must have come from the very deepest part of me.  The part that was tired of acting, pretending and maintaining, of always saying the right thing, doing the right thing, acting like everything was fine.  To tell the truth, I was finally fed up of it all.  


Luckily there were no teachers around and the cafeteria was still fairly empty.  We were able to fight without being pulled apart, never to know who the victory belonged to and Melissa knew now, that it belonged to me.  And when it was over, I might not have gained a friend, but by finally standing up for myself, I had at least earned her respect.  I had hoped that it would be achieved in an alternate manner but Melissa was rough-and-tumble.  The girl had already had a hard life and I think fighting was the only thing she knew.  To get through to her, I think I had to go to her level.  And you know what they say: when in Rome, do as the Romans do.  

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That evening, Andrew brought me to Beryl Lane Picnic Spot, where he had set up an intimate picnic dinner and arranged candles around the blanket.  If this was just for Homecoming, I could expect him to go all out for when he asked me to Prom.


After we had eaten, he took me by the hand and we sat down in the grass.  It had been a lovely evening and all of the day's events melted away as my first boyfriend stared at me lovingly in the moonlight.  

"Homecoming is in a week and I know it's last minute but I wanted to make sure that everything was perfect.  Ramona, I'm sure you already know what I'm going to ask you."

I held my breath.

"Will you be my date to the Homecoming Dance and possibly my Queen?"

"Of course, Andrew.  I can't imagine going with anyone else!" I beamed at him.  The rest of the night was spent coordinating our colors and making plans.  Apparently, his friends had already pitched in for a limo and one of the linebackers had asked Bettina, all of this unbeknownst to me.  It would truly be a special evening.


When he dropped me off, I was grinning from ear to ear.  I skipped up my stairs and into the living room, where my grandmother was sitting.  I was still euphoric from that night's date or I would have noticed that she had been crying.

"Grandmother, you didn't have to wait up for me!" I laughed, walking over to her.  "I told you I'd be home by ten."

"Ramona darling, I'm afraid I have some bad news.  I went to the doctor last week to find out the reason I've been feeling poorly lately."

I sat down beside her, preparing for the worst.  "What's wrong?"

Grandmother lowered her head sadly.  "My tests have come back today.  I don't know how to tell you this but...I have pancreatic cancer."


5 comments:

  1. Oh wow, cancer I did not expect that! :O

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  2. You gave her one of the WORST kinds, too. T_____T Wwwwwhhhhyyyyy!?!?!?!?!

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  3. I did some cancer research...pancreatic fits with the storyline...

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  4. Pancreatic cancer sucks, but I am really glad you beat up the butt crack girl.

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  5. Wooot she kicked that girl's ass!! It's about time, sometimes being nice doesn't work. Sometimes you have to be a bitch to get respect. I hope that teaches the other girl a lesson.

    The picnic was very romantic, I loved the candles. But I can't believe her grandmother has cancer. I knew it. It does get worse!

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